


I don't belong to you, and you don't belong to me (I won't let you down, I will not give you up)

by IWasMeantToFeel



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: (but not toooo much), Angst, F/F, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, I promise it'll be alright in the end, OR IS IT, Unrequited Love, beca aubrey friendship because I think it's the cutest, the movie broke me just as much as it broke you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-02-24 04:21:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13205856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IWasMeantToFeel/pseuds/IWasMeantToFeel
Summary: after their final performance together on the USO tour, Beca sees Chloe kissing Chicago. and she can’t help but hurt.





	1. Chicago

**Author's Note:**

> I've shipped bechloe since I was a little closeted 12 year old, but this is the first fic I've written for them. I'm kinda attempting to fix the ending of pitch perfect 3 because it honestly made me really sad, for my current gay self and for my hopeful past self too.  
> I can't guarantee how often I'll update this bc school, but give me a follow and then you'll get a notif when I do xo

As soon as Beca sees Chloe kissing Chicago - pulling him down, and kissing him hard, no less - she feels all the adrenalin and excitement from the performance rush out of her. It’s replaced by a familiar heavy, sick feeling that makes her throat tight. She’s very used to feeling this when she looks at Chloe - in fact, lately, it’s almost all she’s been feeling. It’s impossible for Beca to look at her - her intensely familiar face, her familiar curves and the accents of her collarbone and her breastbone, that she knows so well from being pressed up against them in hugs so many times - without being reminded of the fact that Chloe is not hers, and never will be. Because despite all her flirting in the past years that Beca has known her - and there’s been a lot of it - Chloe has never made a move. And seeing her with Chicago now, kissing him as though her life depends on it, Beca realises that if Chloe had ever had any feelings for her, she would have done something about it by now. And she never has, which means she doesn’t. Beca has learnt to accept that. But it doesn’t mean that watching the girl she’s been falling in love with for the last three years kissing a man she’s known for all of three weeks hurts any less.

Theo appears beside her and she’s glad to see him. His presence is a welcome distraction from the fact that she just followed Chloe, high on adrenalin and unusual confidence, to confess her feelings, and found her with Chicago. Theo’s talking and Beca’s barely listening, feeling the urge to throw up as she watches Chicago’s hands claiming the only person she’s ever been in love with. She replies to Theo on autopilot with a classic wry remark, but she knows she has to leave right now, before Chloe sees her and instantly knows that something is wrong, as she always does.

“I’ve got to go,” she blurts out.

“Oh… uh… we were going to go for drinks. Khaled, me, the others. Do you want to come?”

“I’d better stick with the Bellas, I’m sorry,” she apologises. “I’ll see you later?” She’s aware that her voice is coming out higher than usual and whiny, because this always happens when she’s trying not to cry.

“Alright. Well done, Beca.”

Beca makes a swift exit, just about holding the tears in and hoping she can find an empty bathroom stall where she can get herself together and stop being so stupid about this whole thing. But then she looks up and sees Aubrey, standing alone by one of the bay windows. The corridor is empty.

Aubrey turns. “Hey, Beca. My dad just left.”

Beca goes to stand next to her, looking out over the sea in the dark. She’s opening her mouth to try to be sympathetic to the girl, but then Aubrey gently touches her arm and murmurs, “Are you okay?” and suddenly Beca is burying her face in Aubrey’s shoulder and sobbing quietly. The blonde instantly wraps her arms around her and starts to rock her gently. If she’s startled by the uncharacteristic crying, she doesn’t show it. She simply whispers, “I know. I know.”

“You know?” Beca chokes out.

“I’ve known for a long time.”

********

Beca has had feelings for Chloe since her first hood night. The brazen way Chloe took her wrists and pulled the brunette towards her had stirred something in her. Although it made her nervous, she secretly loved the way Chloe ignored all the normal boundaries of personal space, and infiltrated Beca’s as though she was born to do so. Because, although she wouldn’t say this to anyone, Beca actually welcomes touch from a few select people. She just doesn’t know how to initiate it, and Chloe solves that problem for her, because she always does so. Beca realised on hood night that Chloe Beale was not going to leave her life any time soon, and she knew then that she was totally okay with that. And then she’d looked over at Chloe making out with Tom on the steps, her arms draped around his neck, and she’d realised a second thing - she was totally fucked.

********

Aubrey whisks Beca back to the hotel before anyone can quiz her on her tear-stained face, with a backward yell to the Bellas that they’ll meet them at the bar. And then Aubrey takes her to the bathroom and sits on the countertop as Beca removes the eye makeup that’s made its way halfway down her face.

“This is why I don’t cry,” Beca comments with a wry chuckle, throwing the now black makeup wipe away.

“What, because it’s not pretty?” Aubrey smiles.

“Amongst other reasons,” Beca admits.

Aubrey laughs. “I haven’t told her, you know. Your secret’s safe with me.”

“Thank you,” Beca sniffs. She turns to lean against the counter, avoiding eye contact. “She’s really fucking straight, isn’t she Aubrey?”

“I… I don’t know if I can answer that.”

“Why?”

“Because the answer either gives you hope or makes you feel worse, and I don’t want to do either of those things when I don’t know for sure.”

“What do you know?”

“I know she’s kissed girls in like, spin the bottle. I know she flirts with you non-stop. And she once told me when she was drunk that she thinks you’re really hot.”

“She said that?” Beca lifts her head slightly.

“I don’t want you to get hurt, Beca,” Aubrey says quietly. “Chloe doesn’t have a bad bone in her body, and she’d never intentionally hurt you, but she has the worst kind of power - she’s such an amazing person. And that makes her dangerous, especially if you’re in love with her.”

“How did you know I’m…?”

“I see the way you look at her when she’s not paying attention. Like you’d do anything for her.”

Beca half laughs, and sniffs again. “I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot. I don’t blame you for falling in love with her - if I wasn’t straight, I might have too. And for what it’s worth, I think you’d be so much better for her than any of the guys she’s been with.”

“I - thank you,” Beca says. She sighs. “Okay - makeup. I don’t want to make you late for the celebration.”

“It’s basically a celebration for you, sweetheart. It’s kinda crucial that you’re feeling better before we go.”

“I’m okay,” Beca says resolutely. “As long as she doesn’t bring him, I’ll be fine.”

********

Chloe brings Chicago. He disappears with some army buddies after about ten minutes, but that doesn’t mean Beca doesn’t spend a lot of time staring at the table to avoid looking at the two of them. She laughs with Aubrey, does vodka shots with Stacie, and fends off Amy’s proud, drunken hugs. And when Chicago’s gone, Chloe raises a toast to Beca and her performance, and the most she can offer back is a weak smiles and a compliment to the whole group. She’s usually a happy drunk. But tonight, she drinks enough to make everything spin just a little too much, avoids Chloe as much as she can, and has to retreat to the bathroom to just breathe for a while. Aubrey takes her back to her own hotel room and tucks her into a bed that smells like Aubrey’s perfume, then gets in beside her.

“You were brave tonight,” is the last thing she hears before she falls asleep. She wakes at 4 am to the sound of all the other Bellas returning home. A few minutes later the door opens.

With her eyes closed, through a sleep haze, Beca hears Chloe murmur, “Aubrey, are you awake?” When Aubrey sits up, Chloe says, “I really need to talk to you.” And then, “Who’s in bed with you?”

“That’s Beca.” The bed creaks, presumably as Chloe sits.

“Oh.”

Beca falls back asleep. Their flight home is in the morning.


	2. "Do you need a back rub?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this one's from chloe's POV. 'when will these two idiots realise they're in love with each other and get together?' you ask. keep reading to find out ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for the kudos and comments on the first chapter of this. I will honestly try to update as much as I can! hope you enjoy this next chapter (based on 'do you need a back rub?')

Chloe wakes up to the obnoxious noise of Aubrey’s alarm.

“Shit,” she hears from behind her, then Aubrey’s reaching over her to mute it, mumbling sleepily.

Chloe turns over. Aubrey’s normally pristine hair is a mess of tangles, and she’s blinking in the half dark, trying to wake herself up. Chloe hears another sleepy moan from behind Aubrey and then Beca sits up, pushing tousled hair out of her face and stretching.

“Morning, sunshine,” Chloe laughs.

Beca yawns and Chloe can’t help thinking how adorable she looks, wearing Aubrey’s pyjamas which are slightly too long for her and rubbing her eyes.

“Good morning, Chloe,” she mumbles, then jumps out of bed, grabbing her clothes off the floor and disappearing without another word, leaving Chloe a little confused in her wake.

Aubrey groans. “Time to get up! We’ve got a plane to catch.”

********

The drive to the airport is pretty quiet. Most of the Bellas are plugged into their headphones or resting their heads against the bus window. Amy, Aubrey and Chloe are the only ones who aren’t deathly hungover - Amy because her alcohol tolerance is so high, Aubrey because she doesn’t really drink, and Chloe because she wasn’t really feeling alcohol last night, especially in the absence of her usual drinking buddy, who is currently asleep next to Aubrey in the seat across the aisle from her.

Chloe tries to ignore it, but she can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong with Beca. The brunette isn’t the hugest fan of parties, sure, but Chloe can always encourage her and get her dancing, and if she’s still not in the mood they usually just find a quiet corner in the bar or club and have a conversation - so Chloe is mystified as to what happened last night. And although she doesn’t want to admit it, she can’t help feeling a little offended that Beca went home with Aubrey instead of her. Chloe would have happily gone back to the hotel, but for some reason, Beca hadn’t approached her to ask. In fact, she’d been absent basically the whole night. And if Beca hadn’t been so checked out, maybe Chloe would have gone to her instead of Aubrey to talk last night. Granted, Beca isn’t big on talking about feelings, but she’s been there for Chloe so many times in the past. She was there when Tom cheated on her, when the boyfriend after that didn’t work out… but last night, Chloe needed her, and she wasn’t there.

They get to the airport eventually and pile out of the van, and Chloe realises that this is the moment she has to say goodbye to Chicago. The other Bellas are unloading their suitcases from the back, but she sees him waiting and he quickly pulls her aside.

“So you’ve got my number, right?”

“Yep,” she smiles, patting her back pocket where her phone is.

“And you’ll give me a call?” He poses it as a question, but it’s clearly a statement. Chicago’s self-assuredness was one of the many things Chloe had found attractive about him. But now, hungover and running on 4 hours sleep, it irritates her a little. She pushes that aside.

“Maybe I will, maybe I won’t,” she smirks.

“Sure.”

It feels like the moment they should kiss, so she stretches up on tiptoe and presses her lips to his softly, and she would have been contented with that. But he wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her closer, deepening the kiss, and Chloe feels herself blush as the Bellas wolf-whistle behind her. The feeling isn’t entirely pleasant, so she steps back and smiles up at him. “Bye,” she murmurs.

“Bye.” He doesn’t break eye contact, so they stand there silently for a moment, staring at each other, until Aubrey claps her hands briskly.

“Okay, let’s not miss check in!”

********

Their flight is delayed by an hour, so they end up sitting in a waiting room. Chloe plants herself in the seat next to Beca, who looks extremely uncomfortable.

“Are you okay?” Chloe asks. She’s asking to find out why Beca’s face is contorted in pain, but she’d like the answer to the question in an emotional sense just as much.

“Yeah. I just slept funny. Weird angle or something.” She’s rubbing her shoulder and neck, and Chloe recognises the signs.

“Do you want a massage?” she asks brightly.

“No, thanks, it’s fine… I’ll just….”

“Beca, let me give you a massage. You’ve never complained before.” Chloe winks, and Beca blushes at that. They’re both aware that Chloe regularly draws moans from Beca during back massages, and she’s always embarrassed by it. “Magic hands…” Chloe continues.

“Fine,” Beca grumps, and Chloe laughs, rubbing her hands together.

“Sit on the floor,” she says, and opens her legs so Beca can rest between them. Beca rolls her eyes, but does as she’s told. As soon as she’s there, Chloe collects her hair and gently pulls it over one of her shoulders, to get better access. Beca’s wearing one of her many tank tops - dark red today, with a low back. Nevertheless, Chloe softly slides the straps, and the straps of Beca’s bra, a little way down her arms.

“Dude, we’re in an airport!” Beca hisses.

“Do you want a back rub, or not?”

Beca sighs heavily, which Chloe takes as a go ahead. She starts softly, tracing the tattoo on her back, and Beca shivers minutely at her touch.

Chloe has always loved this about her relationship with Beca. She notices the way the brunette isn’t exactly keen on physical contact with most people, but when it’s Chloe she’ll always allow it. It was one of the things that made Chloe develop a crush on Beca, back when she was a freshman. Chloe is a naturally tactile person. She overflows with love and affection, and it almost overwhelms her when she has no outlet for it - and Beca lets her be affectionate. After Beca started dating with Jesse, having ignored Chloe’s blatant flirting at hood night (and in the shower), Chloe decided that if she couldn’t have Beca in the way she wanted, she’d sure as hell make her her best friend. And that’s what she’s always tried to do. She never told anyone about the crush which just won’t seem to go away, and she gets on with life. She’s aware that sometimes she might come on a bit strong with the flirtation - it just seems to come naturally to her around the other woman - but Beca’s oblivious anyway, so no harm done. It doesn’t mean that Chloe doesn’t wish Beca was hers every time she looks at her.

“There,” Beca says quietly, and Chloe realises that her fingers are curled around where her neck meet her shoulder. She applies some pressure, pressing into her with just enough force, and Beca whimpers a little as her head falls back. Chloe feels Aubrey looking at her weirdly from the seat opposite, but she’s helpless. She knows in that moment that she would do anything for Beca.


	3. Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> because who doesn't want domestic!bechloe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks again for all the positive feedback <3 my tumblr is xsecretcities, if you want to follow me for some gay af reblogging.

Beca has never liked children. So when she struggles onto the plane with her enormous rucksack and locates her seat, her heart sinks to find that she is in a row of three - an empty seat by the window, her seat, and a man with a very small baby. She resigns herself to her fate and gets to her seat with several muttered apologies, and tries to make herself very tiny so as to avoid touching the baby. No sooner has she got settled she hears more apologising and looks up to see Chloe squeezing past the man.

“Chlo, I didn’t know you were sitting here!”

“I volunteered to swap my seat with a woman who accidentally got separated from her partner,” Chloe beams. “Didn’t realise I’d be next to you!”

All Beca can think is, of course Chloe did that. Most other people would be seriously annoyed by having to switch seats on a plane, but not Chloe - not if it would help someone else.

“Oops, sorry,” Chloe says. Beca’s stood up to move to the window seat so Chloe can sit down, and now they’re pressed against each other without an inch of space between them, trying to move to their respective seats.

“Sorry, I’ll just…” Beca says awkwardly, and tries to move, but just ends up pushing Chloe against the seat in front of them with her thigh between her legs. She blushes when she hears Chloe laughing at her.

“Becs, just stop moving for a second,” Chloe tells her, and she puts her hands on Beca’s waist and gently guides her to her seat, much more elegantly that Beca had been trying to do moments before.

“Thanks.”

Chloe sighs contentedly as she gets settled. “I’ve never sat next to you on a flight before,” she remarks. It’s true. On the flights too and from Copenhagen, Beca had been forced to sit next to Fat Amy because she was ‘the smallest’, and has ended up basically curled in a ball the whole flight.

“I’m great company on flights,” Beca replies sarcastically. “Yeahhh, I just love cramped spaces and small children.”

Chloe laughs at her again. “You’re cute.”

The announcements start and before long the plane is on the runway, picking up speed. Beca takes deep, steady breaths and tries not to clench her fists too much as the plane takes off. But of course, Chloe notices.

“Are you alright?” she asks, concerned.

“Yeah, it’s just… take off,” Beca manages, trying to control her breathing. This part of flights always panics her - the rest is usually fine. She feels something touch her hand and looks down to see Chloe gently unfurling her clenched fingers and smoothing them out, then taking Beca’s hand and squeezing it. Beca tries to comment on it, but finds that she doesn’t really know what to say. Instead, she just looks out of the window and lets Chloe hold her hand and rub her thumb over the back of it over and over again, until Beca’s breathing evens out. Even then she doesn’t let go.

********

They’re a few hours into the flight. Beca is working on something Chloe has named a ‘memory mix’, which is when she takes all the songs that the Bellas have recently sung and makes them into a mashup. Chloe already has four memory mixes saved onto her iPod.

Beca knows Chloe is watching her work, but she doesn’t really mind. With anyone else it makes her a little uncomfortable, but she knows Chloe never has a judgemental eye - only curious - so she lets her. Suddenly the man next to them (the one with the baby, who has been crying for the best part of the flight) speaks.

“I’m really sorry to disturb you, but would you be able to look after Alfie briefly while I go to the toilet? I wouldn’t normally ask, but you don’t seem dangerous and I was in a big rush to get the flight so I didn’t -”

“Sure!” Chloe interrupts. Beca pulls her headphones off to watch the interaction. She knows Chloe has wanted to hold the baby for the whole flight, for two reasons. The first is that she’s been making faces at it for the past ten minutes, an the second is that Chloe turns into an affectionate mess any time she sees a baby in the street or in a restaurant. Beca is used to it.

“Thank you so much, lifesaver!” the man says. “Sorry, I didn’t get your name…?”

“Chloe! And this is Beca.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Adam,” he says, and passes the baby carefully to Chloe. Beca watches as Chloe holds the baby up to adjust her grip, and gently lays him against her chest, her red hair framing its tiny body.

“Look, Becs!” she whispers, entranced. And while Beca is used to baby-obsessed Chloe, she’s never seem her actually holding one. Her hands are encircling him so softly, touching his head and rubbing his back, and her smile is absolutely radiant.

“He’s cute,” Beca ventures.

“He’s precious,” Chloe corrects her, rocking him a little. There’s a weird feeling in Beca’s chest - not jealousy this time, but something just as strong. She suddenly feels the urge to kiss Chloe then and there. But before she can - not that she would have - the baby has reached out and grabbed a lock of Beca’s hair with lightening speed, and is tugging on it. Beca tries to free herself, but his little grip is too strong, and she’s scared to hurt his hands.

“I think he likes you,” Chloe chuckles.

“Is this how most babies show affection?” Beca retorts. In order to not have her hair pulled out she’s had to move closer to the baby, and now she and Chloe are inches apart. They lock eyes for a moment, and Chloe’s eyes are full of something Beca can’t place. Then the baby lets go of her hair and lets out a mischievous scream laugh thing. Beca looks alarmed, but it doesn’t descend into crying as she expected. Instead, Alfie smiles at her, and she reluctantly smiles back.

“Thanks for letting me go, dude.”

The moment ends as quickly as it began, with Adam returning from the toilet. Beca suddenly feels the need for air.

“I’m just going to go as well,” she announces, and basically runs out of her seat.

“Not big on children?” Adam asks Chloe, watching Beca’s retreating figure.

“Ah, she is, she just doesn’t know it yet,” Chloe tells him, handing back the baby.

“That was me before I had Alfie. Now I couldn’t think of anything better than being a parent.”

“Is Alfie’s mum on this flight?” Chloe asks cautiously, not wanting to be intrusive.

“Ah, no, Alfie’s other dad is at home waiting for us. We’ve just been in France visiting my mother, but my husband was at a conference so he couldn’t make it. Where have you been?”

“Uh… we’re singers, we’ve been performing around Europe for the past few weeks.”

“Would I know the band?”

“The Barden Bellas?” Chloe says.

“Nope, sorry. But I’ll look you up when I get home - I’m curious now!”

Chloe laughs. “Okay… just be careful which video you click… there are a few out there you definitely don’t want to see.” When the man looks puzzled, she continues, “Involving fire, vomit, indecent exposure, that kind of thing.”

“Alright then,” he laughs, clearly thinking she’s joking. There’s a pause. “Sorry, please don’t take this as me being creepy, but you’re a very lovely couple.”

“Who, me and…?”

Adam nods in the direction of the toilets, seeming confused, and Chloe doesn’t have the heart to correct him. “Thanks,” she says, beaming. She’s glad she’s not the only one who can see what could be.


	4. No Harm In Trying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> on Aubrey's suggestion, Beca tries to have the big conversation. but it doesn't quite go as planned...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to everyone who's commenting - you are inspiring me to keep writing this! I was expecting it so be about four chapters, but now I have so many ideas. I'm so glad it's helping some of you get over the end of the film!  
> if you have any favourite prompts please leave them below, because I'm going to try to incorporate some into the story.  
> also, as this fic continues it will become more and more obvious that I have very little knowledge of American geography/the school system and also of the music industry, so take everything I write about that with a pinch of salt haha

At luggage collection back in the USA, everyone breaks down. Some of the Bellas live in different states now. They’re hours apart, and they’re all going on to different walks of life. And although they’ll see each other, it’s never going to be the same again, and they all know that.

Before they know it, Beca, Chloe, Aubrey and Amy are the last ones left. Aubrey pulls Beca into a strong hug which lasts, by Beca’s standards, an uncomfortably long time, but she’s not complaining.

“Be strong, Beca,” Aubrey whispers to her. “And remember, communication is important. There’s no harm in talking to her about this.”

Beca’s shocked. “Um… yes there is? I could lose my best friend.”

Aubrey scoffs. “Look at her.” Beca looks. Chloe is standing a little distance away, laughing at something Amy’s saying. When she sees Beca looking, she gives her a 100-watt smile and winks. “Can you honestly say to me,” Aubrey continues, “that you think someone like Chloe would walk away from a friendship?”

“Nooo, but…”

“Good, that’s that then. Please, Beca, talk to her.”

“Okay.”

“I love you,” Aubrey tells her, kissing her on both cheeks. “Go and make us proud in LA. We’re all rooting for you.”

“You ready to go, tiny?” Amy shouts.

“I’m not that small!” Beca protests. “But yes, I’m ready.” She lets Aubrey and Chloe say their tearful goodbyes in private and follows Amy out of the doors.

********

Their shared flat feels absolutely tiny after the hotel in France. The room that is the kitchen and Beca’s bedroom combined is about half the size of one of their hotel rooms, and Beca is fed up of Amy treating her bed like a couch. Chloe insists on going on a tidying spree while Beca finishes her mix, and then makes them all pasta. The time difference is messing them all up a bit and Beca almost falls asleep over dinner, and Chloe is unusually quiet. Beca’s had several emails from Khaled’s team and Theo since landing, and she’s replied to the most important, but the rest are just lurking in her inbox, and that and the thought that she has to move out and find another apartment is weighing on her mind. After dinner and washing up, she announces that she’s going to bed. She locks herself in the small bathroom with her pyjamas and lets herself cry, because she’s inexplicably sad and she doesn’t know what else to do about it. The sight of Chloe’s Barden Bellas mug with all their toothbrushes in it makes her cry harder. She tries to be quiet about it and hopes that they can’t hear her outside the door. And then she gets into bed. Chloe passes by a few minutes later on her way to the bathroom, and whispers, “Goodnight Becs.”

“Night, Chlo,” she replies, and wonders miserably how many more times in her life she’s going to be able to say that.

********

Beca wakes up with her bed creaking as someone slips under the covers beside her. She knows that it’s Chloe when an arm snakes around her waist and a warm body presses against her back - who else would it be, anyway? Not many other people are in the habit of crawling into Beca’s bed in the early hours of the morning. Chloe nestles her face into Beca’s shoulder and takes a deep breath, and this all feels so familiar to Beca, and so much like home. After an inner debate, she lifts her arm and places it over the one that’s around her waist.

“Are you awake?” Chloe murmurs.

“Yes.”

“This all feels so weird.”

“I know.”

“I feel like everything’s falling apart.”

“It doesn’t have to,” Beca murmurs, turning in Chloe’s arms. She can see her eyes shining with tears in the half dark, her hair spread over Beca’s pillow. Chloe smells like her rose and almond shampoo, and it’s probably Beca’s favourite smell in the world.

“Are you going to leave?” Chloe asks.

“I don’t think I have a choice.”

“I know.”

They fall silent. 

“I need to be in LA, for the job,” Beca explains. “And you need to be at vet school, so -”

“I’m not going to vet school,” Chloe interrupts.

“What? Why?”

“It’s not right for me. I’ve changed my mind.”

“Is this what you were talking to Aubrey about last night?”

“I mean - yes.”

“Elaborate for me?” Beca says, shifting closer.

“Just… being in Europe got me thinking. Thinking I might die on that boat… thinking we’d never perform together again… it kind of put things in perspective. And I realised that life just keeps going on if you don’t do anything to change its course. And I don’t really want to be a vet, so…”

“What do you want to do?”

“I think… I want to be a teacher. And I want to have a family. When I picture my life in the future, that’s what I want. And I’m the only person stopping myself from getting there.”

Beca takes a deep breath, thinking about what Aubrey said to her earlier. _Please, Beca, talk to her. Do you think someone like Chloe would walk away from a friendship?_ She makes up her mind. Here, in her bed in the middle of the kitchen, with the gap in the curtains that’s washing Chloe’s face with streetlights and moonlight, she’s going to tell her how she feels.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, Becs.” She shifts closer too, until there are only centimetres between them. This is it.

“I… I’ve always seen myself going to LA in the future. When I first started college, that’s all I wanted. And now I have that opportunity, but there’s something I want more than that.”

“What?” Chloe breathes.

“Well… when I picture myself in LA, I see myself with you.”

There’s a silence. Beca’s heart is thrumming in her chest and her whole body is clenched, waiting to see if Chloe will pick up on what she’s trying to say. She wants to make herself clearer, but she can’t say it. Beca is rarely scared. But right now, she’s terrified.

And then Chloe speaks. “Are you asking me to come to LA with you?”

All the breath rushes out of Beca at once. “That’s not exactly what I was… I mean… yes?”

“Yes, Becs, of course, oh my god,” Chloe says, and throws her arms around the brunette, cradling her. “I was going to ask you, but I didn’t want to force myself on you… because this is your future, your dream, you know? But honestly, I can’t see myself not living with you. I need you.”

Beca can’t really understand if she got her point across or not. Does Chloe understand that’s she’s telling her that she can only see a future with her, and no one else?

“What about Amy? You reckon she’ll want to come?” Chloe giggles.

Well, that answers that question - she clearly did not get her point across. Beca kicks herself inwardly at her inability to express her feelings, but right now, with Chloe’s legs intertwined with hers, and the kisses she’s dropping into Beca’s hair, she can’t find fault with the moment. Chloe’s coming with her. She has time.


	5. New Beginnings?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beca and Chloe are getting settled in LA, but there's someone from Chloe's past who won't go away...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol I'm sorry for the end of this chapter :')  
> I also had a comment asking which POV I intend to continue this story in. I really like using third person but switching the focus whenever it feels necessary to the story, but please comment if you think it's confusing <3

**TWO MONTHS LATER**

“Chlo, I’m home!” Beca can’t help but relish the domesticity of that phrase. She hangs up her jacket and dumps her bag in the living room, then starts unlacing her boots.

“I’m in the bath, I’ll be out in a minute!” Chloe calls back.

Beca makes her way to the kitchen to sort out dinner, and notices that Chloe’s hung up a couple more picture frames in the hallway. Every time she gets back from work Chloe has added something to the apartment - music note wall decals in the bathroom, a rug in Beca’s room, and now these pictures. There are a few of all of the Bellas on stage at various performances, there’s their graduation photo, and then a couple of selfies of the two of them together. It’s an adorable and very Chloe thing to do, and it makes Beca smile after the long day she’s had.

Being a signed music producer is incredible. It’s a dream come true, obviously, but she hadn’t anticipated the sheer freedom it would give her to do whatever the hell she wants creatively. She loves it. But it’s also extremely tiring, and although she adores her job, coming home to the new apartment and Chloe is one of the highlights of her day.

As for Chloe, she’s working as a barista in a café not far from where Beca works. They walk there together every morning, and Chloe makes Beca a quick Americano on the house. Sure, there are coffee machines at work, but she did it on Beca’s first day and now it’s tradition. Chloe’s done some teacher training, and she’s sending round her CV to various elementary schools and kindergartens to apply to be a music teacher. She hasn’t heard back yet, but Beca assures her it’s just because the semester has already started.

Amy has taken out money from her trust fund and gone to Broadway to start her Fat Amy shows. Beca’s not sure which one she’s doing this time, but she’s promised to go and watch opening night.

Beca rummages through the fridge and finds some premade soup, so she starts heating it up and making grilled cheese.

“Hey, how was your day?” Chloe asks from behind her.

“Great, thanks! We recorded the first song on the album! What about you?” Beca turns to look at Chloe and almost chokes on air. The redhead is wearing nothing but a short white towel and is sitting on the couch moisturising her legs. Beca obviously knows Chloe’s attractive, but she forgets how sexy she is sometimes.

“Sorry, I just wanted to come and see you, so I thought I’d do this in here,” Chloe says by way of explanation. She notices Beca’s still staring, so she decides to wind her up. “Like what you see?” she teases.

“Who wouldn’t?” Beca replies, turning back to the stove, and Chloe forgets to breathe for a minute.

She is so unclear as to where the two of them stand. For the longest time she thought Beca was incredibly straight, but she’s not so sure anymore. She’s started to notice more the way Beca interacts with other women, and she’s getting hints that maybe Beca is bi. They haven’t talked about it. And Beca stills talks about Jesse a lot. They maintain contact and seem to have a really close friendship, and Chloe would think it was cute if she wasn’t worried that Beca was still a little hung up on him, since she hasn’t dated or shown interest in anyone since they broke up months ago. And speaking of relationships, she has something to discuss with Beca.

“Um, Becs?”

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing tomorrow night?”

“I was going to go to the launch party of some guy’s album. I asked if I could bring a plus one but the numbers are limited apparently, and it would be a really good way for me to network, so I was going to go. But if you want to do something I can totally cancel?”

“No, actually, um… Chicago’s in LA for a few days. We were going to go out for dinner. I just wanted to check that it’s okay if I go out?”

Beca looks shocked, and then another emotion that Chloe doesn’t really have time to register before she turns away. “Yeah, absolutely, that’s fine!”

“You sure?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

And although she gave up on the idea of being with Beca years ago, Chloe has to pretend really hard that that doesn’t hurt.

********

The following night at around 9, Beca is getting ready to go out. She wants to make a good impression but doesn’t want to seem overdressed, and the thing about the music industry scene is that it’s really really hard to tell what vibe a party is going to have. She decides on black skinny jeans and a slightly iridescent dark blue button down, and pairs the outfit with high heels, hoop earrings and the star choker that Chloe gave her for her last birthday.

“You’re going to be fine, Beca,” she tells herself firmly in the mirror. Despite the fact that performing with the Bellas has brought her out of her introvert shell a little bit, she still struggles with anxiety before these things, and the thought of having to make conversation for hours is making her heart beat unpleasantly. She makes her way into the hallway to grab her coat, and then leans against the wall, waiting for the text from her Uber. Suddenly there’s a thud against the front door and giggling that sounds an awful lot like Chloe’s.

“Shhhh,” Beca hears, followed by the sound of the key in the lock. She doesn’t know what to do with herself, so she just stands awkwardly where she is. The front door opens and Chicago is pushing Chloe inside and against the back of it, his mouth never leaving hers. Beca feels sick at the sounds Chloe is making, and hates that watching the person she loves make out with this guy seems to be becoming something of a tradition. She’s trying to figure out how to make her escape without totally embarrassing herself, when Chloe opens her eyes and notices her.

“Shit, Beca, I thought you were out!”

Chicago whips around to look at her too, and Beca feels her face flush. “Oh, don’t worry, I’m leaving! Please don’t have sex on any furniture I might conceivably sit on in the future,” she begs, and then grabs her bag, dodges around them, and heads out of the door without another word.

“Oops,” she hears Chloe giggle behind her, clearly drunk, before the door slams again.

Beca stands in the cold street for another five minutes before her Uber shows.


	6. "I don't ever want anyone to hurt you."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things with Chicago don't go down as anyone expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't want to put rape/non-con warnings on this story because it's not a huge part of the plot, but I will warn you about this chapter just in case you're not comfortable reading it. it's not violent or anything - I just wanted to make sure that I put a trigger warning.  
> also, I'm sorry there's so much crying in this story? lol oops  
> one more thing: I don't have anyone reading this or editing it for me so if you spot any big spelling/grammar errors leave me a comment so I can fix it xo

Chloe would have brought him home even if she wasn’t drunk. She hasn’t been with anyone like that for months, and she likes Chicago, and she wouldn’t mind just one night where she doesn’t fall asleep thinking about Beca. So after Beca’s gone out, she guides him through the apartment and takes him to her bedroom.

“Nice,” he comments breathlessly, gesturing towards Chloe’s collection of stuffed animals.

“Don’t comment,” she tells him, dragging him towards her by his collar.

Chloe likes being dominant in bed. She isn’t good at surrendering control - something that probably stems from the deep-rooted trust issues and insecurity she’s been told she has. If she manages to maintain control in the bedroom, she manages to forget her insecurities and enjoy the moment. But now Chicago is flipping her over onto her back so she can’t move, and taking his shirt off in one swift movement. She grazes her nails down his chest to try and buy herself some time, but then his hands are pushing her dress up her thighs roughly and _she needs a moment._

“Wait,” she says, and he stops just like that. She sits up and kisses him slowly, but he immediately introduces his tongue and she’s _not comfortable_ right now. “Chicago.”

“What?”

“Can we stop for a moment?” She knows she’s slurring a little and she hates that her brain is functioning so slowly.

“Come on, Chloe, I know you want this.”

Chloe blinks. No one’s ever contradicted her like that before. “No. I need a moment.”

“Okay,” he says, and starts kissing her neck, his breath heavy, and in that moment she thinks of Beca and she knows she can’t do this. That it’s not fair on herself to settle for something that is so much less than what she wants. She backs away and he tries to follow her, but she puts a hand on his chest and pushes him away, a little harder than maybe she meant to.

“Stop,” she tells him.

His expression hardens. “What the fuck, Chloe? I thought you were interested in me.”

“I am… I just… I don’t want to have sex right now.”

“Oh sure, that’s definitely the vibe you’ve been giving me since the restaurant,” he scoffs in disbelief.

“I changed my mind,” she tells him. “I’m drunk and I…”

“Fuck you. I actually came here thinking I had a chance to start something. But clearly this didn’t mean anything to you.” He starts to pull his shirt on and then he’s leaving the room. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you that you can’t make moves on a guy like that if you don’t intend to follow through?” he says bitingly over his shoulder.

Chloe blinks again, because even though she’s definitely not sober right now, she knows for sure that no one she’s been with has ever told her that.

“Chicago, wait!”

She’s met with the sound of the front door slamming. She feels hot and claustrophobic and she can still feel hands all over her skin, and she has to leave the room. She goes to the kitchen to get a glass of water and catches sight of herself in the hallway mirror. Her hair is messed up and her makeup is smudged. She goes and curls up on the couch and lets herself cry.

********

At about 1am, Beca unlocks the door as quietly as she possibly can, not wanting to wake anyone who might possibly be in the apartment right now. All the lights are still on, so she assumes that Chloe hasn’t left her bedroom since she went in. But then she walks past the door and sees it open, and the bed empty. Something doesn’t feel right, and when she gets to the kitchen she realises why. Chloe’s asleep alone on the sofa, still dressed and all awkward angles. Beca drops her bag and goes over to her.

“Chloe?” she whispers, stroking red hair back from her face. “Chlo?”

Chloe’s eyes blink open with a start, but when she sees Beca the shock goes away from her face. “Beca,” she murmurs, and opens her arms for a hug. Beca leans down, and the angle is so awkward, but Chloe’s holding onto her tightly and Beca knows that for whatever reason she needs this, so she lets her hold her.

“Did something happen?” she asks. They sit up.

“Chicago left,” Chloe says.

“Okay…” Beca says.

“We didn’t sleep together,” Chloe says bluntly.

“Oh.”

“I didn’t want to in the end, but he did, and…”

Beca feels anger stir inside her, because she knows the direction this is taking. “Do you want me to find and kill him?”

That draws a laugh from Chloe, and Beca feels hopelessly proud of that. “He’s in the army, Becs, please don’t.”

“Did he… do anything you weren’t comfortable with?”

“Yes,” Chloe replies, and now Beca is furious. “I mean… nothing intrusive… like, it wasn’t his fault.”

“It wasn’t his fault?” Beca is incredulous.

“I haven’t had sex in a long time and I wanted it, and then suddenly I just didn’t. It’s not his fault.”

“Did he try to convince you?”

“Yes…”

“Then it is his fault if he tried to pressure you!” Beca says angrily.

“I was giving him mixed signals. I have to take responsibility for that,” Chloe says, suddenly taking the role of soothing Beca. She’s never seen her look quite this angry.

“You really don’t. You said no and he tried to convince you. That’s not cool. At all.”

Chloe doesn’t say anything, because she’s not quite sure what she _can_ say to that.

“Sorry,” Beca says after a while. “I didn’t mean to be so…”

“It’s okay, you were just worried,” Chloe assures her.

“I don’t ever want anyone to hurt you,” Beca admits, and then looks surprised by her own confession.

“You’re… I don’t deserve you,” Chloe tells her, blinking back more tears.

“Of course you do,” Beca tells her, and then she gets up, holding out her hand. “Let’s go to bed.”

They fall asleep in Beca’s bed, holding hands, and Chloe is almost glad that the night ended this way.


	7. Celebration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beca and Chloe go out to celebrate Chloe's new job. drunken confessions are made...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I use like three really common tropes in this chapter, sorry for my lack of originality haha x

**ONE WEEK LATER**

“Beca! Beca!” Chloe shouts as she bursts into the apartment. It’s a Sunday evening, but she got called in for an extra shift at the coffee shop so she only just got back. “Guess what??”

Beca appears at the top of the hallway. “What?”

“I got the job! The one at the kindergarten.”

“Seriously??”

“Yes, seriously! I just got the email.”

“Oh my god, Chloe!” Beca runs at her and basically jumps into the hug, and Chloe spins her round. “You’re going to be a teacher!”

“Yes!” Chloe can’t stop jumping up and down. This is possibly one of the most joyful moments of her life.

“We’ve got to celebrate,” Beca says decidedly. “Get one of your hot dresses on, we’re going out.”

Chloe definitely doesn’t linger the fact that Beca just called her dresses ‘hot’.

********

They’re been in the club less than ten minutes before some guy hits on Chloe. Beca’s gone to fight through the crowd at the bar to get them drinks and Chloe’s just sort of lingering by the dance floor, people-watching. She’s aware this makes her look very alone and single, and she remembers exactly why that’s a bad thing when the guy approaches her. She can already tell he’s a total dick by the way he looks… and then he introduces himself.

“Hey, beautiful. I’m Jason.”

“Chloe,” she says non-committedly.

“You’re much too hot to be alone here. Why don’t you dance with me?”

“Sorry, I’m waiting for someone,” she says. Good, that’s open-ended. Someone could mean a significant other. He doesn’t have to know that it’s just her best friend (her best friend, who’s she’s been pining over a lot more than usual recently).

“Why would anyone keep someone like you waiting? Come on, one dance. You won’t regret it.” He grabs her wrist and attempts to pull her towards the dance floor, and then, with perfect timing, Beca arrives.

“Hey, babe,” Beca says, and quickly pecks Chloe on the lips. “Vodka lemonade?”

“Thanks, love,” Chloe replies, taking her drink and going along with it, although her head is spinning. _Did Beca just kiss her on the lips?_

“Sorry, I got caught up at the bar. Who’s this?”

She sees what Beca is trying to do, and frankly she’s impressed. Beca Mitchell using a term of endearment? Almost unheard of.

“This? Oh, this is…” She deliberately forgets the man’s name.

“Just leaving,” he says quickly, and disappears. Beca bursts out laughing as soon as he’s gone.

“Thank goodness, I was worried he was going to ask to join in,” Chloe says wryly. She can’t help touching her lips, which are buzzing even from that one chaste kiss.

“I wouldn’t have let him,” Beca says. “If I had Chloe Beale, I wouldn’t share her with anyone.” She winks. “Come dance with me.”

Chloe’s not even drunk yet, but the way Beca moves against her on the dance floor makes her head spin. She knows there are people watching them, so she does what she does best and puts on a show, letting her hands fall to Beca’s hips and pressing her front against her back. She doesn’t know how long they’re there for, but the way the lights are flashing makes everything moves in juddering motions around her and she feels like she’s in a time warp, frozen in the moment with Beca flush against her.

“Another drink?” Beca shouts, and Chloe nods, letting Beca take her hand and lead her to the bar. They do more shots than they probably should, but Chloe hasn’t felt so free and happy in ages, so she makes the most of it.

“Want to dance?”

Chloe whips round, thinking the girl is addressing her, but she’s making eye contact with Beca. She’s _really_ attractive, and Chloe sees the indecisiveness in Beca’s face as her eyes roam the girl’s body.

“Um…” Beca stutters.

“I promise I’ll have you back with your friend in no time,” the girl winks. “I’m Emma. And you are?”

“Beca.”

“Are you gay, Beca? Or at least bi? Because I have this nasty habit of hitting on straight girls and it’s making my life difficult,” the girl laughs.

Beca looks shocked at how direct she is. “I’m… um…”

Chloe watches the exchange, riveted. She knows that when Beca’s got some alcohol in her she’s a lot more likely to tell the truth, and she really want the answer to this particular question.

“I’m… not available Emma, I’m sorry,” Beca says, pointing to Chloe. The gesture warms Chloe’s heart. How many times are they going to pretend to be in a relationship before they discuss this?

“Oh, god, sorry! I didn’t mean to…”

“Nah, don’t worry,” Beca grins. “I hope you find another non-straight girl to hit on.”

“Thanks!”

Beca and Chloe go back to the dance floor, the words ‘ _another_ non-straight girl’ ringing in Chloe’s head.

********

“I haven’t been this drunk since the last night of the USO tour,” Chloe tells her as Beca leads her up to the apartment. Once she realised how drunk Chloe was she limited her own alcohol consumption so that she’d be able to look after the redhead if she needed to.

“You don’t say.”

“What time is it?” Chloe slurs.

“Late enough for you to be in bed,” Beca says.

“If you say so. Only if you come with me,” Chloe says suggestively. Beca is all too used to this side of Chloe, and she tries not to get too drawn in by it. While living with Chloe is amazing, it’s also reminding her just how much she wants it to be a forever situation.

“Sure, sweetie,” Beca tells her, letting them in to the apartment.

Chloe falls backwards onto her bed and lies there. “Pyjamas in the top drawer,” she tells Beca. Beca grabs the top items, which turn out to be a cami and very short shorts, and chucks them at Chloe.

“I’ll be back in a minute,” she says, and goes to get changed and clean her teeth at the speed of light, not trusting Chloe not to do something stupid. When she gets back to the bedroom, Chloe’s turned on the salt lamp and the fairy lights, a lighting situation which Beca appreciates, because it’s much less harsh than the overhead light.

“Unzip me,” Chloe says, pulling her hair to one side. Beca does as she’s told, turning her back awkwardly as Chloe steps out of her dress.

“I don’t care if you look, Becs, we’ve known each other long enough. Besides, you’ve already seen a lot more than this.”

Beca rolls her eyes at that. “Not on purpose!” she protests.

“No, I guess that was mostly my fault.”

“ _Mostly._ ”

“But hey, if I hadn’t crashed your shower we probably wouldn’t even be friends now. So you owe me.” Chloe flops down beside her dramatically, thankfully now wearing pyjamas. “I’m too hot,” she comments.

“It’s the alcohol,” Beca tells her.

“That girl was cute tonight,” Chloe says. Drunk Chloe is a master of changing the subject whenever it suits her.

“I guess.” _Nothing compared to you_ , Beca thinks.

“You should have danced with her.”

“I didn’t want to.”

“Why not?”

“I wasn’t interested.”

“No?”

“No.”

“So you’re straight, then?”

“Chloe,” Beca says exasperatedly, “just because I didn’t want to get with her doesn’t make me straight.”

“So you’re _not_ straight!” Chloe says excitedly.

“I don’t know,” Beca sighs. “Is anyone really straight?”

“Um, yes? Stacie. _Aubrey._ ”

“Stacie is definitely bi. She made a pass at me once. I won’t fight you on Aubrey.”

“Stacie made a pass at you??” This is news to Chloe. “What did you do?”

Beca laughs. “It was ages ago. You’re not going to remember any of this conversation anyway, Chlo.”

“You think? I’ll have you know,” Chloe says slowly, propping herself up on one elbow and getting alarmingly close to Beca’s face, “that I have a very good memory. Try me.”

“Okay, Chloe.” Beca knows she’ll regret this. Chloe won’t remember, so it’s a futile attempt. But it is step one in confessing her feelings. “I’m gay. See if you remember that.”

Chloe’s eyes just about pop out of her head. “You’re _gay_? But what about Jesse?”

Beca shrugs. “I didn’t really know back then. I thought I was bi. I was just… trying things. But I know now.”

“How did you figure it out?” Chloe sighs. Her voice is getting more and more sleepy.

“I just… thought about it a bit, I don’t know. And then suddenly I just knew. It was like it should have been obvious the whole time. And I started looking at… specific people… and reconsidering how I felt about them. That helped.”

Beca looks over at Chloe slightly nervously, to see how she’s taking this information. She’s sound asleep.


	8. "I did something possibly stupid?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chloe does something (possibly) stupid. Beca needs Aubrey's help in figuring out what on earth to do next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyyy the slow burn is almost coming to an end!  
> thank you as always for your lovely comments :)  
> I see this having maybe 3 more chapters after this one?  
> (but you are more than welcome to leave ANY prompts below if you have ideas for this fic or others)

Chloe starts teaching at the kindergarten with really short notice. The teacher before her mysteriously disappeared (“I think he might have been fired?” Chloe theorises. “Or he like, walked out because he couldn’t stand the demon children a second longer.”), so they call her in the next week. She stops working at the coffee shop, and Beca misses her morning Americano, but she is so unbelievably proud of Chloe. She comes home every day with some kind of new child-related injury/mess, such as finger paint all over her (and Beca’s) favourite top, and a watery eye from being poked by a five-year-old with a triangle, but she takes it all in her stride and Beca can see how much happier she is now that she has a purpose. She does her lesson plans in the evening and Beca helps her figure out songs for the kids’ music lessons, in between writing her own songs and arrangements. It’s the kind of life Beca has always secretly dreamed about having.

When she was a freshman, she saw herself being completely independent in LA, living alone, getting on with things. But that dream slowly changed, the more time she spent with the Bellas and the more she realised she’s not actually very good at being alone. And now she’s here with Chloe, and it’s perfect.

(They don’t mention the night Beca drunkenly came out to Chloe. Beca’s not sure if she even remembers.)

One Monday morning Chloe is in a huge rush to leave, because the kindergarten is the other side of town and she has to get the bus (and Beca may have forgotten to set the alarm). She snatches a piece of toast and as she’s rushing out of the door Beca calls after her, “Lunch, Chloe!”

“Why do I always forget?” Chloe says as she grabs the bag from Beca. “Thanks, I’ll see you later!”

“Have a good day,” Beca smiles.

“You too, love you,” Chloe says quickly, and presses a kiss to Beca’s lips, then hurries out of the door, only concentrating on making it to the bus stop before the bus leaves and she has to wait another twenty minutes.

It’s only when she gets to the bus stop that she realises what she just did.

“What the hell, Chloe?” she whispers to herself, getting some weird looks from the other people waiting. “What was that for??”

********

Meanwhile in the apartment, Beca is just as stunned. She pulls out her phone and quickly dials Aubrey’s number from her favourites.

“Hi, Beca!” Aubrey chirps. “I’m at the gym, what’s up?”

“Chloe just kissed me??” Beca squeaks.

“She _what_?” Aubrey practically screams, and Beca has to hold the phone away from her ear. “Where is she now??”

“She went to work! But Aubrey, I think it was an accident?” Beca explains the situation.

“Oh my god, you two are complete idiots. I love you both, but you’re idiots.”

“Okay, thanks Aubrey, I’m freaking the fuck out about this but being called an idiot is really helping,” Beca says sarcastically.

“No, I mean you are literally idiots. Chloe told me what happened with Chicago a few weeks ago, Beca. She called me to talk about it and we had like, a really long conversation, and I didn’t think I should say anything to you about it since she’s my best friend and there’s like, trust involved in that, and I wouldn’t betray her trust just like I wouldn’t betray yours… but she totally likes you!”

Beca just about manages to process that extremely long sentence, and all she can come out with is, “What do you mean??”

“I _mean_ , she’s in love with you too!” Aubrey says excitedly.

“Did she tell you that?”

“No, but listen -”

“Please don’t joke about this, Aubrey.” Beca’s a little offended. Aubrey saw how upset she was after the USO tour - why would she make fun of her like this?

“Beca, can you stop being so obstinate for a hot minute and just listen to me? And maybe believe that, as your best friend, I’m not lying to you?”

So Beca listens. And while they’re talking, Chloe is on the bus, frantically trying to dial Aubrey and sort out this mess before she gets to school. Of course, the call doesn’t go through.

********

In her lunch break, Chloe considers trying to call Aubrey again, but realises that this is not a conversation she wants to be overheard by other teaching staff. So she fires off a text to her instead.

**Chloe:**  
I did something possibly stupid? Call me?? PLEASE.

She doesn’t get a reply. But while she’s sitting there, staring at her phone anxiously, she gets a text from someone else entirely.

**Beca:**  
Hey Chlo, I’m working late today, but I want to do something after work. I’ll pick you up from home at 8? Bring blankets!

Now, Beca is not the kind of person for compulsive, unplanned gestures, so Chloe has never had such a cryptic text from her, and she can’t help the thrill of excitement and nerves that runs through her. She also appreciates that there’s no reference to what happened that morning - Beca knows she cannot stand ‘we need to talk’ texts.

**Chloe:**  
Okayyy? Dress code for this mysterious outing?

She doesn’t have to wait long for a reply.

**Beca:**  
Just be your usual gorgeous self ;) And don’t forget blankets, it’ll be cold out.

Chloe blushes at the first bit, but is seriously puzzled over the second. She decides to just trust her, since the brunette has never given her a reason not to before. Although she cannot imagine what Beca is planning.


	9. Glowsticks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beca takes Chloe on a not-date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guysss your patience with this slow burn is about to be rewarded....  
> (btw, I hope you appreciate my song choices ;) hardcore brittany snow fans will understand)  
> (pls forgive how obvious it is that I know absolutely nothing about the geography around LA)
> 
> tw / self harm but nothing graphic.

Chloe’s waiting on the street outside the apartment, bag of blankets in hand, when a car pulls up at exactly 8. She ignores it, because Beca doesn’t have a car, and continues scanning the street for her favourite small person.

She’s wearing jeans, because Beca was right - it is pretty cold at night here, especially with the wind - but she’s made an effort with her top, changing it from one of her work shirts into a strappy silk V-neck with a cardigan over the top. She hopes she doesn’t seem overdressed, because the truth is, she’s really nervous. Chloe’s rarely nervous about dates (or things which have not been labelled but seem a lot like dates), but in this case it’s Beca, the girl she’s liked for years - the girl who told her a week ago that she was gay - so of course she’s anxious. She feels like this might be something.

One of the car windows rolls down. “Are you going to keep me waiting all night?” Beca teases, sticking her head out of the window. “I for one have somewhere to be.”

“Beca?? Whose car…?”

“I borrowed it from work,” she replies with a smirk. “Jump in.”

“They have a car you can borrow?” Chloe asks, opening the door and sliding into the seat.

“It’s Theo’s,” Beca admits. “I have permission!” she adds, seeing Chloe’s face. She pulls out of the parking space.

“Where are we going?” Chloe finally asks. “I thought I knew all your secrets, but clearly…”

“You don’t know half of them, Beale,” Beca winks. “Wait and see.”

“What are you listening to?” Chloe asks, seeing Beca’s phone plugged into the aux cord.

“Eurythmics, I think,” Beca says. “You can change it.”

Sure enough, when Chloe presses play, ‘Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)’ starts coming out of the speaker. “I love this song,” Chloe smiles. “It’s one of my mum’s favourites. We used to listen to it on road trips.” She starts humming, and Beca joins her by singing the refrain.

“Sweet dreams are made of this, who am I to disagree?”

Chloe harmonizes instantly, and they make eye contact before Beca turns back to the road. She loves the way they sound together. Singing with Beca makes her voice sound better, like it’s found its place. She remembers it from the shower all those years ago. The song changes, and Chloe doesn’t recognize it, so she clicks the home button. It’s called Love Somebody by Justin Caruso.

“Skip to something you like if you want,” Beca says, looking over absent-mindedly. She seems a little nervous too, Chloe notes. The vibe between them is a bit different, but not in a bad way.

“No, this is good,” Chloe smiles.

Beca turns off away from the city and onto the main road.

“Are you trying to abduct me, Beca Mitchell?” Chloe laughs.

“You wish,” Beca replies.

“You know, weirdly, abduction isn’t one of my kinks,” Chloe reflects. “Does that make me weird?”

They both laugh, and Beca rolls down the window so they can feel the night air as it rushes past. Chloe’s hair instantly goes wild in the wind, but she doesn’t mind. She watches Beca as they drive, going through song after song. She has a really beautiful profile, Chloe notices. Especially when her face is relaxed, as it is now. Her eyes trace all Beca’s piercings, the line of her nose and the softness of her lips. ‘Sit Next To Me’ by Foster The People is playing, and it’s a song she’s always associated with Beca.

“Come over here sit next to me, we can see where things go naturally, just say the word and I'll part the sea, just come over here and sit next to me,” she sings softly.

“Stop watching me, Beale.”

“No,” Chloe hums and makes a point of continuing to stare.

Beca sighs melodramatically. “We’re nearly there,” she tells her, and Chloe’s eyes shoot up to look out of the window.

“Are we going to the Hollywood sign??” she asks excitedly.

“Almost,” Beca tells her. They drive uphill for a few minutes, and then she pulls over. “Here we are.”

Chloe gets out of the car. They’re in a secluded area by the dirt track, looking out over the lights of Los Angeles. Beca grabs a bag from the back of the car.

“Come with me,” she says, and holds her hand out to Chloe, who accepts it with a squeeze. Beca looks so beautiful in this light, with the glow of the city illuminating her face. They climb down the hill a little way, away from the road, and there’s a grassy ledge that could just about fit a couple of blankets spread out. Beca drops her bag.

“Sorry if it’s underwhelming,” she says shyly, and Chloe suddenly feels almost certain she’s on a first date.

“It isn’t underwhelming,” she promises truthfully. She’s never been a huge fan of conventional dates (not that this is a date - although she’s becoming less sure of that by the second), and she’s always loved being in nature at night.

Beca smiles widely at her response, and it’s like everything is right in the world. They spread out the blankets and some pillows Chloe brought, and Beca gets her light-up speaker out of her bag and plugs in her phone. There’s soft music, and Chloe’s not sure what it is, but it’s perfect for the mood. She’s amazed at the planning that seems to have gone into this, and even more so when Beca produces a bottle of red and a couple of glasses.

“I wanted to bring food but I didn’t have time,” she says. “So it’s a… liquid picnic?”

“Sounds really unappealing,” Chloe laughs, sitting down next to her, as close as she can. She tells herself it’s just because it’s cold, but the truth is she’s craving contact with Beca. “How did you find this place?”

“I came here when I was 14,” Beca says as she pours the wine. “It was a couple months after my mum died, and I was going a bit off the rails, so my dad paid for us both to come on a trip to LA, like a bonding experience. We were staying in a hotel about ten minutes away, and I used to walk up here really late at night and just sit here like the emo teenager I was.”

“You’re still an emo teenager,” Chloe teases, because she can see that Beca is opening up to her and she doesn’t want to scare her off by being too serious.

“True,” the brunette laughs. “This was where I figured out that I wanted music to be my career.”

“Right here?”

“Yeah.”

“Seems fitting that you’re back here now.”

Beca nods, and they look out over the city. “I wanted to get those floating lantern things that you let go of,” Beca says after a moment. “But then I realised they’re like, really bad for animals and the planet in general, so I just got these.”

She rummages in her backpack and produces two glowsticks, handing one to Chloe. They snap them, and they light up slowly. “Give me your wrist,” Beca says, and Chloe does so. She wraps the glowstick around her wrist and secures it with the little plastic thing, then risks looking up at Chloe. She looks absolutely delighted with it, and when they make eye contact Beca can seem how much her eyes are shining. “Do me,” she says, holding out her wrist.

When the blue one is on her wrist and the pink is on Chloe’s, Chloe intertwines their fingers and holds up their hands. She doesn’t think she’s ever looked at Beca’s hands so closely before, and now that she is she can make out tiny, tiny white tracks running across her wrists. She doesn’t think Beca knows she’s seen, but the emotion that wells up inside her threatens to spill over, so she simply brings their joined hands closer and presses a kiss against Beca’s.

“Can I take a picture?” she says after a moment. “I don’t want to forget this. Not that I would, but…”

“Sure,” Beca murmurs, and they hold up their joined hands in front of the city lights as Chloe snaps a picture.

“I’m really glad you’re here with me,” Beca admits.

“Me too,” Chloe says, and she leans her head on Beca’s shoulder.

“I made you a memory mix,” Beca says, with a slight tremor in her voice. If Chloe hasn’t guessed by now what this is, she’s about to.

“Memories of what?” Chloe asks, lifting her head off Beca’s shoulder.

“Of us.”

“Beca, that’s beautiful, I… Can I hear it?”

“Sure.” Beca scrolls through her phone, finding the track. “It’s not the best thing ever… I haven’t had a lot of time…”

“Shhh,” Chloe tells her, and nods. Beca plays the track.


	10. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS IT.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only one more chapter after this!  
> I love you all and I hope this is ending the way you all wanted. make sure to give me constructive criticism and prompts for other fics down below.  
> (I felt like Beca had to do the talking in this chapter, because this fic started centric on her feelings for Chloe, so it should end that way too)

When it’s over, Chloe’s nearly in tears. The way Beca’s mixed songs she could never imagine together, from ‘Titanium’ to ‘Freedom 90’, and a huge range of other songs they’ve introduced each other to over the years, is extraordinary.

“Becs,” Chloe says. She sounds choked up. “I don’t know what to say.”

She looks up, and Beca’s biting her lip nervously. “Can I tell you something? Actually, that’s not a question. I’m _going_ to tell you something, before I chicken out.”

Chloe nods slowly, her heart in her throat.

“I’m not the kind of person to throw the word love around,” Beca starts. “I mean, after my mum, and everything with my dad… I felt like I had literally no love to give, because I’d forced myself not to for so long.”

Chloe just looks at her, trying to convey her encouragement with her eyes. She doesn’t want to stop her talking.

“I felt like that when I came to Barden. Like I… wasn’t really capable of feelings. And that changed pretty much the moment I met you. You were the exact person I needed to bring me out of the weird place I’d been in for so long. You were so good for me. You still are.”

Chloe holds her breath. Beca swallows.

“I don’t want to be sentimental, Chloe, I’m not good at pulling that off,” Beca laughs nervously. “But you taught me how to love again. That’s what I’m trying to say. I… I’ve never said this to anyone before, so I really fucking hope that I’m not wrong about this.”

They stare at each other, and Chloe notices Beca’s hands shaking, so she stills them with hers.

“I’m in love with you,” Beca says in a rush. And then more slowly, “I love you.”

Chloe can’t manage anything more than a choked gasp, because there are tears running down her face now. She pulls Beca towards her and kissing her hard, tangling her fingers in her hair. One arm finds her waist and pulls her closer, as close as she can. They kiss for what feels like minutes, each trying to put the emotions they’ve felt over the past years into the embrace. Chloe breaks away to breathe for a moment, leaning her forehead against Beca’s.

“I love you so much,” she whispers. “If that wasn’t proof enough.”

Beca half sobs, half laughs, pulling Chloe into the tightest hug she’s ever given anyone.

“I’ve felt like this for so long,” Chloe says into her hair, feeling the relief from years of longing wash over her.

“Me too,” Beca tells her, and they kiss again. She straddles Chloe without any hesitation, feeling like she’s waited too long to do this to have any apprehension. Chloe laughs at her eagerness as she falls back against the cushions, with Beca on top of her, her thigh pressing in between Chloe’s legs, and her lips still on hers.

They stay on that ledge for a long time.


	11. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for your patience and kind words on this story! see you at my next fic xoxo

**EPILOGUE**

The Bellas are having their weekly Skype session (which Beca and Chloe are weirdly absent from) when Aubrey, halfway through a sentence, notices a notification that’s just popped up on her phone.

“Oh my goodness,” she yelps. There, on her screen, is a text from Beca that just reads ‘thank you’.

“What, Aubrey??” Stacie says with concern.

“I think Beca and Chloe…”

“What?” Jessica immediately demands.

“Oh my god, did they finally sleep together?” Amy asks. “About fucking time.”

“Aubrey, what?” Stacie says again.

“Guys, look at Instagram!” Cynthia Rose tells them.

There’s a silence while they all scrabble to check Instagram on whatever device they’re on, and then a collective scream.

“Someone crack open the champagne,” Ashley remarks drily in the midst of it all.

There, on Chloe’s Instagram, is a picture of two joined hands with glowsticks on their wrists, set against a backdrop of city lights. Beca is tagged.

And the caption is:

_Sweet dreams are made of this. I love you @becaeffinmitchell #bhloeisreal_


End file.
